This My Ebenezer...

This year has challenged many of us with hardships, disappointments, loneliness. We've gone long without seeing family or friends or feeling the warmth of a hug. We've tried to make good decisions in confusing and uncertain times while wondering whom to believe. While our family has not experienced this, some of you have lost work or close family members. Looking back, I'm beginning to see how God has been using this year to teach me. Perhaps, despite the difficulty, I'm learning to be grateful for this year as God's continuing to mold me into the image of Christ. 1. Contentment in Disappointment I'm learning, with faltering steps, that "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." When something seems impossible to bear, Christ can help me bear it this moment, and if He can now, He can in the future as well. When my hopes are dashed, more than once (whether due to the pandemic or not), sometimes not even those closest to me know the depth, bu...

God is so good, and yet I started out this week not wanting to be grateful at all--missing my family afar, missing playdates and friends, and being irritable with my husband and children. Sometimes being miserable seems easier and more satisfying than obedience.  Maybe I'm not alone in this struggle with melancholy, the struggle to even want to be grateful, forgetting that each breath of life is grace in view of what I deserve (hell)! But the Lord is good to give me even the willingness to praise Him when I ask/plead/cry out! Then the Lord brings this to mind, "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love Him." (James 1:12) Lord, please give me the grace and even the willingness to be steadfast in trial, to praise You! Then, this morning, I was reminded, "and He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for t...

Two or three weeks after planting seeds in our vegetable patch, this portion from James was running through my mind: "See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it until it receives the early and the late rains." I think this passage is talking about waiting on God in suffering, but it has likely kept me from up-earthing things. If God uses farmers as an example of patience, then I should be patient (not that I have any claim to be a farmer)! I am not very patient. I want my garden to look like a garden, like my neighbor's garden, which was started with young plants. My garden looks like a patch of dirt. Yet, if you squint and look very closely, you might see what could be a tiny carrot or tomato plant (or is it something else?) In my impatience I'm tempted to figure it out somehow--pull up what I think are little grass stems around it--which might damage the little sprouts, if they are ones. Growing a garden takes longer th...

This is a testimony of God's grace that I was able to read at my baptism in July 2019. A longer version can be found here . I grew up in a Christian family. From a young age, I knew I was a sinner and that Jesus died for my sins and rose from the dead. At four years old, I “asked Jesus into my heart.” That was when I first understood that only Jesus could take me to heaven, but I don’t think I saw my sin before God and need of forgiveness at that time. It’s been a gradual process of God applying those truths to my heart. As a preteen and teenager, I enjoyed Bible studies and looked up to godly people. However, I also struggled with a critical attitude towards others, a longing for approval, a lack of openness with my parents, and a selfish focus on my outward appearance, which for a time was harmful to myself. In my early twenties, I started asking for help. Although I wasn’t always open about my heart, I do remember asking for prayer because I didn’t trust God. I didn’t se...

This time last year, I was anxious--so anxious to teach reading that I was afraid to start--afraid of failing, afraid that my daughter would hate school. I needed help! Practically, wisdom came from a seasoned homeschool mom. I was going too fast and was lacking a reading program to guide me. Spiritually, the Lord used the first part of James to drive me to prayer: "But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him." I had not been relying on the Lord for wisdom and strength, but was trying to figure it out all on my own! I needed to trust that He would help me. As I sat down with my daughter for her first reading lesson, I was filled with fear, but we prayed that the Lord would help mommy to teach and help her to learn. And the Lord has been faithful. He's helped us both to learn together, to work hard, and make adjustments as needed. In the process, it's been such a ble...

Psalm 84:11 "For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly." I have/had been struggling with ungratefulness, discontentment. There are good things that I want but don't currently have and cannot control. Until a good friend reminded me that "no good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly." If the Lord has withheld something, then it must not be a "good thing" for me right now. My responsibility: Will I trust Him? Will I praise Him? Will I worship Him for His wisdom? May God by His grace strengthen me to do so, for His glory. Let's think about what He HAS given--immeasurably more than I deserve. Psalm 34:10 "The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing." Ephesians 1:3-14 "Blessed be  the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritua...

A blow to the face at a bus stop while headed to work one day Fractures, fear, screams in the dark, surgery, hospital stay I forgive him. This was his crime, but could it also be Dumb to wait there all alone? Was I foolish and naive? Some well-intentioned chided, "You shouldn't have been there!" Ashamed and angry, my heart pondered words they meant to care. A newcomer to this land , I wanted to impress Them as capable and fluent. Now my pride in tattered dress. Gracious words soothed my heart, " Christ died for your foolishness too ." We've all been foolish. How many times has God protected you? How often do I unwisely speak or hold bitterness towards a friend? My own true sins, against my God, deserve hell that never ends. I look to Christ, crucified for no foolishness of His own, To forgive and free from sin and guilt. We worship Him alone . A blow to the face at a bus stop, God's mercy poured on me To point me to the Savior. In ...

All that we were--our sins, our guilt, Our death--was all our own: All that we are we owe to Thee, Thou God of grace, alone, Thou God of grace, alone. Thy mercy found us in our sins, And gave us to believe; Then, in believing, peace we found; And in Thy Christ we live, And in Thy Christ we live. All that we are as saints on earth, All that we hope to be When Jesus comes and glory dawns, We owe it all to Thee, We owe it all to Thee. Horatius Bonar (1808-1889) ----------- I grew up in a Christian family, actively attending church. From a young age I was blessed to know the facts that Jesus died for my sins, that He rose again, that we needed to be forgiven, that He was the only way to heaven, and that nothing I could do would earn my way there. However, it's been a gradual process of the Lord applying those truths to my heart and helping me to grasp their significance. Until I was in college, I would have said that I was saved at the age of four. That was when ...